How to Say "No" and Prioritize Your Time

Bye bye "Yes, Girl", HELLO goal crusher!

In this bite sized episode join host Erin E Hooley as she talks all about using "No" to say "Yes" to what matters most.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the conquering chaos podcast. I'm your host, Aaron e, Julio President and founder of multimillion dollar e-commerce children's clothing line, Bailey's blossoms. So it turns out I'm pretty good at business, but what really lights my soul on fire is providing other entrepreneurs and mompreneurs with the tools they need to truly succeed. So if you have a business or have one on your heart, you're in good company, pull up a chair or dropping some earbuds and let's conquer some chaos today. Hey guys, yes,

Speaker 2: 0:29

this episode is going to be short and sweet and to the point because it's all about freeing up time and I want to provide some really great value for you that you can utilize today and give you the time to then put these learnings into practice and really reflect on where you're at right now and set some clear goals for where you intend to be. So this past week we had a great management meeting, which was run by our director of operations. He asked everyone to bring a cup of water that represented their workload for any given day and then ask us to drink. How much was representative of what we were able to get accomplished each day. So everyone's drinking like a little sip, maybe half, you know, just to kind of say, Oh man, I can never get my stuff done. Right. So the whole demonstration was in effect to show the multiplier effect that each of our individual workloads has, not only on ourselves but on one another. And at one point as he's handing out these additional cups saying, Oh, so-and-so didn't get their work done. So that means more work for you and more work for them and he's handing out all these additional glasses of water. So at one point I'm struggling to hold three full glasses of water and then I decided to get a little bit Sassy and decided to Chug all three glasses as quickly as I could. So we all got a few good laughs and chuckles out of that. But then later in the same meeting he turned any asked me, why did you decide to do that? Why did you drink all of those glasses of water? And it was so interesting because without even thinking about it, I replied to prove that I could duh. Right? And it was one of those Aha moments where you take yourself by surprise and I really haven't been able to shake the thought since the thought that I do something to prove that I can. It's not the intentional mindset and it certainly makes for poor management leadership. And I know that. So the, the whole concept of today's episode is how often are we doing things to prove to other people that we can rather than intentionally trying to be a good leader or do the things that matter most to us. Have you ever been asked to do something that you didn't want to do, but you agreed to do it anyways? That whole yes girl concept. Have you ever felt obligated or pressured or guilted into taking on things that you don't want to and that you don't even care about? We tend to be people pleasers. We want to make everybody happy, but making everybody happy is not a recipe for success. I've talked a lot about taking the first 15 minutes of your morning to set your intention for your day and for ease of this exercise, I'm just going to assume that you're doing that. So let's say you have a day and you know what your top three priorities are and you know what you're working towards to better yourself or your business or whatever it is that's most important to you. Now we all know that we can't magically conjure up extra hours in any day. So we have to understand that when we say yes to something, it ultimately means that we're saying no to something else. And if I don't have a clear understanding of what I'm working towards, if I don't have clear intentions and priorities for any given day and I don't really fully understand the direction I'm headed in, then I may not be fully aware of the things I'm choosing to give up. So this is why getting clear on our goals and our intentions and our priorities is so important. This way. When we get an invitation that comes that might distract us and doesn't align with our priorities or doesn't help us move the needle towards our goals, we can clearly identify that if I choose this, I'm choosing to say no to something on my priority list. I'm choosing to say no to something else and that something else may be sleep or maybe meditation or some other form of self care or maybe the game you're playing to play with your kids after they get home from school or maybe that youtube channel you're wanting to launch this week regardless of what it is. Understanding this principle empowers us to say no without guilt and it empowers us to be more dedicated to our life and our priorities. Whether that is our children, our spouse, ourselves, our business, whatever it happens to be and say yes to those things that help us progress towards our goals. Now, understanding the principle is the easy part. Actually saying no can be a little more difficult, especially when we're in the habit of saying yes without even thinking about it. How do I say no without sounding like a jerk or how do I say no in a way that I won't be talked right back into it or where other people will see the value in my choice and therefore validated? Now, if you're looking for validation, I'm going to caution you, be the validation for yourself. Don't look for external sources to tell you that what your goals are, what your priorities are are important enough for you to pursue. So when that invitation comes, that would distract you or put you in a state of reduced efficiency and an abundance of stress. Take a step back and realize that when your default is yes, it often implies that you haven't given it much thought. Don't be so quick to respond. Say, can I take some time to think about this? And then when you go back, you can say genuinely, I've thought carefully about this. Unfortunately I can't. If I were to say yes to this, it would come at the cost of saying no to something I cannot afford to say no to. Or you can establish a personal policy at the beginning of this month or the beginning of this season or this quarter or this year, whatever. I made a policy for myself to not overextend by overscheduling. I understand that means I'm saying no to something that I have made a personal commitment to prioritize. So unfortunately I can't say yes this time as we put thought into our commitments, people will respect our own personal boundaries and we will free up our time to focus on what really matters most.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Thank you for taking the time to connect with me here on the conquering chaos podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, will you please take a moment to leave a review? It's the fuel to my fire and lets me know that my efforts to enact change and broaden your perspective of what's possible matter. Thank you so much for your support. If you want more content like this, don't forget to subscribe and connect with me on social media at Erin e Lee or at Aaron[inaudible] dot com have a fantastic day. Get out there and congress and chaos.